Outta My Element – SoCS

My second Stream of Consciousness Saturday attempt. Wrote this on Saturday, even though posting just now. Idea was to use “air, earth, fire, water” and/or “element” as the kickstarter. As always, check out LindaGHill.com for the complete rules of the road on this.

I had two immediate thoughts:

• Earth Wind and Fire
• The Fifth Element.

Not a huge Earth Wind and Fire fan, so, meh.

Now, The Fifth Element . . . fantastic movie. Pure pulp fiction. It mostly makes sense in the confines of the movie. It doesn’t want to make a wider point. It’s just explosions and guns and space and ohshootcan’t remember the actor’s name, the vampire guy oh yeah, Gary Oldman chewing scenary and Bruce Willis being the Bruce Willis from Moonlighting. It’s just a damn fun movie.

And the world is saved in the end by the power of love – the fifth element (or was the girl the fifth element? Whatever, great movie.) – who can’t dig that?

As a bonus, the chick in it – sorry the talented actress who plays the fifth element, can’t remember her name – is attractive and gets naked. Now, I no longer flip through HBO movies, focusing in on the ones with “partial nudity” or, glory be!, “nudity.” (Yes, I did used to do this. I’m going to idly speculate that there are a fair number of men my age who did the same thing – keeping a movie on in the hope that there would be a fair bit of flesh in it. Tanya Roberts in Beastmaster = motherload. Anyway.)

About a decade ago, the heating element in my oven caught on fire. In the realm of things that are good, this wasn’t. Fairly exciting in a bad way for a few minutes, but certainly not good. Continues to be one of the reasons I’d always be nervous about ever buying one of those fridge ovens that you can program to turn on and cook whatever’s in it so you’ve got a hot dinner when you get home from work. Would be worried I’d have to be roasting wieners for dinner over the remains of my house (a la Revenge of the Nerds, one of the greatest 80s movies ever).

The phrase “out of your element” is a weird one. What element is one ever really in? Idiosynchratic expressions are always slightly odd.

I often feel out of my element in social situations. Being a shy introvert isn’t always a good thing, but, it is what it is. Maybe out of my element is the wrong way to say that because not uncomfortable – people watching is an awesome pastime.

Typing this with the Alabama/Mississippi game on. Mississippi looks out of its element as a candidate to be talked about as the number 1 team in college football. I-A or whatever the hell they call the top division that controls all the money. Hate when Alabama wins. Always have, no idea why.

As I sit and type this, Chicory, our oldest cat, is in his element licking the ever-loving shit out of his paws while perched on the couch cushion behind my left shoulder – giving himself a good thorough clean with his godawful breath wafting by now and then. Need to take the chubby bastard to the vet.

And, that’s about it. Give myself 15 or so minutes for these, so, fin.